I've been absent for two weeks from this blog and up until yesterday I didn't think that I would ever come back. Two weeks ago my Dad died and now that I am back to my altered reality, sharing in this space, to people that I will never meet, seemed pretty trivial. I needed to focus on the here and now, my family and myself, and trying to manage my life. But as I laid in bed last night, I started thinking about this space and a conversation that I had with my Dad a little over a month ago. I was talking about being thankful, finding joy, and realizing that every day is a new day that can be better than the one before it. That YOU have the choice to make it better for yourself. And my Dad agreed and said, "Yes, Kate, you're good at sharing that through your blog."
And while looking on the bright side and appreciating the simple things cannot solve all problems or save a life, it can help to make each day more enjoyable. So to honor my Dad, I'll keep plugging along. I know that I do have so much to be thankful for, even if realizing that hurts right now, because I cannot share any of those things with my Dad. An evening paddle on the lake in the canoe that my Dad paddled in with his father. My husband patching the leak in the bottom of that canoe - my Dad would have wanted to know exactly how it was done. The raspberries that my daughter and I picked this week - I can't share the pie or cobbler with my dessert loving Dad (of course with vanilla ice cream.) The list will continue to go on and on, especially as we travel to Maine in a couple of weeks - his happy place.
I finally worked up the energy to take some pictures on Saturday. My garden does make me smile and I remember the last time that my Dad was here to visit. The little babe wanted to give him a garden tour and I remember him picking a leaf from the herb garden and smelling it - I was surprised that he knew it was mint. Perhaps it was a small joy for him - being there with his girls and taking a deep breath. I hope.