How To Score a Vintage Children's Wooden Stepstool
1. Go for a run at the end of Bulk Waste Week with a cute child, preferably your own, but the cute part is what's important.
2. Spy wooden stepstool on curb from a distance.
3. Nonchalantly check it out while maintaining pace.
4. While running away, calculate the following: Did it look broken? Can you carry it home on the stroller? Did the house look like normal and cleanly people lived there? Do you really need it?
5. Decide the answers are: no, yes, yes, not really but it's made of real wood and is cute.
6. Circle the block and attempt to wipe away sweat and fix hair.
7. Park stroller and approach door. While knocking, try to look as pleasant and normal as possible while your face is bright red and still covered in sweat.
8. Preface your request with, "I know this is strange, but..."
9. Allow strangers to look at your cute child who has a scowl on her face because she needs to take a nap.
10. Run away before the child whose stool you just took decides that she wants it back and starts crying.
11. Finish your run looking like a complete fruitcake for having a wooden stepstool on top of your running stroller.
12. Get home, wash it off, let the little babe test it out and say, "Hot damn, that was a great find!"
Shared on Friday Finds.